I Can't Make My Kid Like the Snow...

Thursday, February 13, 2014

I have tried SO hard.

I LOVE the snow.  I love checking the forecast and finding those little cartoon snowflakes dropping from the little cartoon clouds.  I love checking the highs and lows and seeing sub-freezing numbers. I love the closings coming in and running across the bottom of the news screen.

I just love snow days.  I lived through the blizzard season of 2009-2010 and every winter since has been a huge disappointment.  Last winter, I daydreamed about being trapped in my little snow globe and snuggling my newborn my whole maternity leave.  But did it snow?  Barely.

This winter though has revived my spirits and reminded me why I own all these snow boots.

And everything's better now that there's a toddler to share it with!

Christmas?  Yep-- better with a toddler.  Snow?  You got it-- even more magical.

So leave it to me to hang my hopes on my poor one year old to increase the magic of snow.  She barely has any idea what's going on and here I am running around buying snow bibs at Target and whipping up homemade pancakes to appropriately ring in the snow day.

But she hates it.

She hates the bleeping snow.

Do you know how long it takes, how much work it is to get a squirming 12 month old into ski bibs and three pairs of socks and zip up a puffy coat and PLEASE STOP PULLING OFF YOUR HAT!!

For the love, will someone please make a hat with snaps? Has no one figured out velcro is worthless?

{It takes approximately three hundred minutes to get two people appropriately dressed to play in the snow.} 

But first I'm all, "Well, let's have a PB & J so you're properly nourished to play as looong as you want!"  Because who doesn't want to play in the snow all day?

But she wants nothing to do with PB&J.

{Olives?  Hummus?  Peppers?  Sausage?  Cheese?  She'll eat all of the weird stuff.  And not a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Go figure.}

Anyway, by the time we finally make it outside, it's sleeting and miserable and she's whining out of frustration and can barely walk in her puffy garb, so I jam a paci in her mouth, tell her to suck it up, and throw her out the door because Dammit, we're going to have fun!

I am the Clark Griswold of snow days.

And we get outside and she keeps falling over because the snow is too deep, and when she falls over, her hands sink in the snow and when her hands sink in the snow her gloves fall off and when her gloves fall off her hands get cold and...


My one moment.  This kid loves cold stuff on her hands.  I have no idea why but it is virtually impossible to hold her on your hip and have a drink in your other hand- she dives her little fist in there and fishes around for your ice cubes faster than you can say germs.

So when she shoves her little hand in the snow, she sits still for an entire ten seconds, nay twenty!  Enough for a picture-- with her looking at the camera!  And brings three little fistfuls of fresh, clean snow up to her mouth.

And I think I've won her heart.  She's finally going to see it.  She's going to love the snow.

But then she still hates it and tries to stand up to walk away but she falls over, so she tries to crawl, and when she crawls her boot falls off and her puffy coat slips up past her nose and her hat falls past her eyes and she makes a mad, whiny dash for the front door with me chasing her so she doesn't crash into a sidewalk light.

I can't imagine why she doesn't have fun.




And then we get inside and I'm tired and annoyed because it took three hundred minutes for us to get ready for her to last only ten minutes outside-- and ten was pushing it, me optimistically keeping her out there just a little bit longer in hopes she'll eventually see my wisdom that playing in the snow really IS fun.  And all she did was shriek and whine and fuss the whole time, and the neighbors think I tortured her, so FINE.

Have it your way, Charlotte.  Be done.

But you're sleeping in those snow pants because darn it if I'm not going to try again and darn it if I'm going to wrestle you in to things twice in one day.


So....You wanna build a snowman?

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