Just a little follow-up...Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Well that was fun! When you write a blog, especially one like that, you never know quite what to expect. The response was interesting... The younger, new mom generation sent a resounding, "THANK YOU!! Can I please share this??" While the older generations were resoundingly...quiet.
I wondered why and narrowed the potential reasons down to three: 1} It's simply a reflection of my "audience" and Facebook circle. Few older friends, fewer responses. 2} They read it and they're all mad at me. 3} They read it and just don't know what to say. I don't know the real reason, probably some combination of all of the above!
But I did get a little feedback that gave me the impression I'd been misunderstood. So please allow me to clarify what I said, briefly, without re-writing the whole post.
First, I tried very hard to convey a calm, even tone. It in no way was meant to be a rant-- no finger snaps, no neck twerking. I truly was trying to appeal to our older family and friends, who I know love us, to ask them to remember how hard it is to be a new parent before they drop in their opinions here and there.
Second, I avoided specific examples as to not call out people in my personal life. I was not trying to hand out a passive-aggressive ream of my relatives. And because there were no anecdotes or specifics, it might not have come across, but I was NOT talking about giving advice. I specifically made my appeal to end the criticism, the questioning, the judgement, the teasing, the undermining. You may not like that I said it, but it happens to every single new mom and it's not cool. Putting your arm around us and saying, "You know what worked for me on days when....?" is NOT what I have a beef with.
Third, you might be thinking, "Who peed in her Cheerios??" This blog was not written from my own experience alone. It was written based on a zillion conversations with all of my mom friends. This scenario is not limited to my world, every young person I know with little kids has gone through this. And based on the response of my younger friends, this is an issue. I'm not alone here, this is a thing. So however benign your comment was intended, please remember it's one of twenty we probably heard that week.
So, if you're mad at me, if you think I'm trying to shun wisdom from experienced moms, if you think I was yelling, please go back and read it again. Being a new mom is hard-- it was hard 60 years ago, 30 years ago, and it's still hard today. So please just love us instead of making sure we do things the same way you did.
NOW. On to less controversial matters...
Can you believe this just happened?? Does this mean I'm not a new mom anymore?