I am no longer cool

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I just wanted to officially announce that I am no longer cool. Yep, been stripped of my title and all associated traits. No, it's not because I'm purposefully, intentionally sitting at home on New Year's Eve (writing a blog, no less). It's got more to do with the Christmas gifts I received this year. But it's not even that the gifts I got were uncool (they were)...it's because of how sincerely excited I was about them. Sure, a pocket protector is an uncool gift, but you're not cool if you're given one. You're uncool if you're excited about it. And I was darn excited about what I got.

This year, there were no gadgets. No digital cameras, no cool phones. No clothes (save for a sweater from my sister and a robe from my parents)-- my usual request. This year was the year of domesticity. I fully realized the extent of my uncoolness when I saw what I'd received in total while I was at my grandparent's house and we'd finished up our final gift exchange.

This Christmas was the Christmas of books. Among other things, from Tyler I received three books-- Marley and Me, Multiple Blessings, and The Lucky One. Then from my dad and Jodi, among other things, I received Change of Heart, The Friday Night Knitting Club (the first one and its sequel), and The Purpose of Christmas. From my grandparents I also received a book, a duplicate of one I'd already received, but that's fine. It just means I get to go pick out another book... Tyler also received three Vince Flynn books, an author I'd never heard of, but apparently is the biggest thing since sliced bread, because I've seen his stuff everywhere since then. My sisters and I also decided we'd like to read a book together over Christmas break, so I'd just finished reading Mercy a few days before the onslaught of my new library. You'd think school would make me hate reading, but quite the opposite has occurred. It's just non-fiction, academic reading I'm beginning to already despise.

Sure, you're supposed to tell your kids it is indeed cool to read, but when asked what you got for Christmas, "About ten books or so!" doesn't quite conjure up an "Oh wow!" response. More like, "Oh...cool...," which we all know doesn't really mean "Oh cool." At least not when you're when you're as young and cool as I used to be.

But whatever, I can rebound. I can make up for it. "What else did you get?" Just listen! From my mom, I received some really pretty spreading knives with a G monogram and a cocktail napkin holder also monogrammed with a G (containing napkins monogrammed with a G, of course), as well as some pretty stationary with my name imprinted on them. From my aunt, I received another set of the Christmas dinnerware I'm collecting, as well as some matching glasses. Woohoo!! (I'm not being sarcastic here).

Okay, so she likes to entertain... That's not entirely uncool. But then, just when I thought all of the gifts had been distributed and I sat contently on the couch, my sister dropped a very large and heavy bag in front of me. "This is for me?" "It's just a last minute gift...," my mom said. I looked in and wrapped inside was a pretty big box-- by far the largest thing I'd received in the last few years (these days, my favorite gifts come in envelopes...). I started to pull the tissue off and... it.... was....

(Can you handle the suspense?)

"A SEWING MACHINE!!! NO WAY!!!"

Seriously...I was excited about this unexpected gift. Seriously. Mind you, I've never so much as stitched a hem much less touched a sewing machine. I usually discard a shirt if the button falls off. But lately, I'd come to the conclusion that I'm such a do-it-yourself-er, why don't I know how to sew? I like to paint walls, refurbish furniture and mirrors, tear down wallpaper... I should be able to make pillow covers and curtains, darn it! I casually mentioned it to my mom (who is a sewing PRO-- made all of my dresses growing up, can recover furniture, makes gorgeous pillows, duvets, and often has people pay her to make their fancy dancy curtains that hang in the windows of their gated community houses) when we were in New York the week earlier and she sure enough followed through! I didn't think I'd decided I wanted one early enough to officially ask for it for Christmas, it was more like a last minute revelation, but... I GOT A SEWING MACHINE!!

My nineteen year old, female, college freshman cousin was sitting at my feet and witnessed each gift I unwrapped. I think I lost any and all respect I had from her when I freaked out over my new sewing machine. I mean, I'm not THAT much older than her. I imagine her thought process throughout the evening went something like this:

"Okay, you got some books...that's cool. Whatever. Alright, you got some cocktail party accessories and place settings... I guess that's cool if you have your own house... Aaaaand... a sewing machine? Yeah... I don't know how to pardon that one. What, are you going to start knitting next? She is like a fifty year old in a twenty five year old body. She might as well be my mom. Better yet, my grandma. She might have some cute boots on, but she is not cool."

Whatever. I think I love my sewing machine. I was only able to squeeze in one lesson before we headed back to DC, but I'm optimistic. True, I had no pre-existing knowledge of what a bobbin was, but I'm hoping the sewing gene isn't recessive. It was a brief lesson, but so cool to learn all of the little flips and turns and snips that make up sewing. I've seen my mom do that dance my whole life and I'm excited to carry on the tradition. My goal is to make either two pillows or one valence for our kitchen window before I head back to school on the 12th.

So there it is... I'm an uncool, reading, entertaining, sewing, married twenty-five year old. Maybe this means the big 3-0 won't phase me.

Doubtful.

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